Gym Bloopers and what to eat before a workout

gym bloopers

After spending the last several months in research mode for an upcoming project I am tired of writing exclusively about protein, carbs, fats, sets and reps and have decided to take a slightly different direction with my blog posts.

 

For the next little while I am going to share stories from my past experiences working in the fitness industry as well as working out in the gym.

 

I have stories involving everything including workout mishaps, wardrobe malfunctions, unintentional (and intentional) nudity, bodily fluids and gasses as well as stories about people who were just plain nuts.

 

In case you are a past (or present) client don’t worry- all names will be changed to protect identities!

 

My first goal with this is to encourage other people of ALL professions to share their stories too. You can help in two ways;

 

1. By sharing your own experiences and

2. By forwarding, sharing, reposting and liking this blog post to encourage others to participate.

 

If we all do our part it will be an absolute blast and good times will be had by all!

 

My second goal with this is to help my fellow trainers out there. Personal training can be a great way to make a difference in people lives but it is not always all roses and sunshine either. Like any job that involves working closely with the public there will always be times when your patience will be put to the test.

 

Ok. My first stories are about stupid things that people do in the gym.

 

I can recall observing one really huge meat head at my local gym. He was your typical juice monkey- he had long hair pulled into a pony tail,  very tanned skin, huge freaky muscles, two earrings, a variety of tattoos and (this is important) was wearing white “Hot Skins”. For those who don’t remember (or have tried to forget), Hot Skins were a form of lycra tights that bodybuilders used to wear in the 1990’s. The shorts were very tight and left little to the imagination. Speaking with full disclosure I have to admit that I owned a pair or two back in the day but my wife has since had them burned.

hot skins

Anyways, this guy was your typical meat head and like most bodybuilders was always looking to find a way to attract attention. On this particular day he was training his legs and using a machine known as a leg press.

 

For those of you who are not familiar with this device I have included the following picture.   As you can see, weight plates are loaded on each side and the weight is then pressed up and down while in a seated position.

leg press2

There is a limit to how many plates you can load on this machine and on this particular day our subject decided that the max was not enough- he needed more weight.  So he did what any reasonable person would do- he called over one of his buddies (who was also dressed in Hot Skins) and had him sit on top of the machine in order to provide additional resistance.

 

What’s unique about the leg press is the angle in which you have to press the weight. This position creates a significant degree of internal pressure as the weight is lowered and this may account for what was about to happen next.

 

Now, I have to give credit where credit is due- this dude was strong. In fact he was a total freak of strength as he was banging out reps one after another.

 

On and on he went, rep after rep. And just to be sure that everybody in the gym was aware of his tremendous display of masculinity with each momentous effort he let out a scream.

 

A small crowd had gathered to watch our hero. Men and women were looking on and some were even counting the reps out loud. I am sure that he loved the attention.

 

And then it happened…

 

It was on his tenth or eleventh rep when I heard a loud scream coming from the dude who was riding on top of the leg press machine…

 

SHIT!!!!! He cried.

 

The guy racked the weight and I can remember him having a very strange look on his face.

 

And then the smell hit me…

 

The guy on top of the machine wasn’t kidding…our hero had shit himself. He promptly leapt out of the machine as everybody rushed to get away from the smell.

 

I have never seen such a big dude move with such speed and agility- who says bodybuilders are muscle bound and slow?

 

And that was the last time I saw him. My last view was of him running like a wounded duck towards the change room with one hand on his ass in a failed attempt to cover the huge stain that was forming on his nice new Hot Skins.

 

I later learned that he never returned to the gym again.

 

How to avoid crapping your pants

Proper pre workout nutrition is the key to avoid such unsightly and embarrassing mishaps in the gym.

 

I have no idea as to what Mr Poopy Pants ate before he trained that day but I can tell you that some foods are better than others when it comes to fueling your workout.

 

Carbohydrates

Let’s start by discussing carbs. Keeping with the theme of this site I am going to discuss carbs in the context of achieving optimal body composition (and not about running a marathon).

 

From a fat loss standpoint there is evidence to support the practice of keeping insulin levels low prior to training. This allows for the catecholamine’s to do their job of facilitating the release of fat from the cell. Insulin impedes this process and high insulin producing carbohydrate foods are best left for the post exercise period when insulin sensitivity is high.

 

This is not to say that eating some carbs prior to exercise is bad as it is very much dose dependent. A small amount of the right carbohydrate source can actually improve your workout performance. Research has shown that ingesting small amounts of beetroot juice immediately prior to exercise can boost endurance by as much as 16 percent while also lowering blood pressure.

 

It turns out that beetroot juice contains nitrates that help your mitochondria produce ATP (your muscles’ energy source), allowing your body to use less oxygen to do more work resulting in greater endurance.

 

Protein

Protein and more specifically, branch chain amino acids are an excellent choice to have prior to, during and after your workout. Branch chain amino acids supply your body with energy while also preventing muscle catabolism. This is especially true when exercising in a glycogen depleted state during a fat loss phase. BCAA’S digest very quickly and will not cause the type of stomach upset or discomfort that can come from consuming other protein sources prior to training (such as meat or dairy products).

 

Caffeine

Perhaps the most widely used supplements in athletics, caffeine is research proven to enhance endurance and strength while also increasing your bodies catecholamine response and testosterone production. The positive effects of caffeine are dose dependant and this is a case where more is not always better. 50-150 mg’s are generally well tolerated by most individuals however partaking in higher dosages doesn’t improve the result and may have a negative effect.

 

Coconut water

Coconut water is an interesting alternative to drinking plain water as it contains many nutrients that water doesn’t including; protein, carbs, vitamin C, potassium and calcium. Research studies have shown that coconut water causes less stomach upset, fullness and nausea compared to using those commercial sports drinks that are so popular these days. Another benefit is that coconut water contains electrolytes and anti-oxidants that aid in hydration and post workout recovery.

active fuel

 

 

 

 

 

All of the above ingredients have one thing in common- they are easily digested and assimilated by the body. Having a heavy, high calorie meal that is high in fat (i.e. cheese burger and fries) is probably the worst choice when it comes to pre workout foods to choose. From what I witnessed at the gym that day it is likely that Mr. Poopy Pants chose the wrong foods to have before hitting the gym!

 

And finally, under no circumstances should any man wear white lycra shorts…ever. I don’t care how great your body is it is still wrong.

 

Have you got any funny, weird or bizarre gym stories that you can share? If so let us all know in the comments below!

 

References

Jones; University of Exeter, Beetroot Juice booting athlete’s stamina, 2011

Weitzburg; Karolinska Institute, Nitrate improves mitochondrial function, 2011

http://jap.physiology.org/content/early/2010/12/20/japplphysiol.01457.2010 (beet juice lowers blood pressure)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21297567 (BCAA’S and performance)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18458357 (caffeine increases testosterone)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20470411 (caffeine enhances strength)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22142020 (caffeine enhances endurance)

 

 

This post was written by

Bruce – who has written posts on Cutting edge muscle building and fat loss secrets.
bruce krahn is a best-selling author, writer, researcher, personal trainer and professional speaker. he has coached people for two decades both in person and online. he created this site to be an honest source of useful, practical information you can use to improve your health, build muscle, lose fat and get the lean body look.

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About

bruce krahn is a best-selling author, writer, researcher, personal trainer and professional speaker. he has coached people for two decades both in person and online. he created this site to be an honest source of useful, practical information you can use to improve your health, build muscle, lose fat and get the lean body look.

8 Responses to “Gym Bloopers and what to eat before a workout”

  1. Rita says:

    I read all your posts and find them quite interesting. I have been exercising since I was 18 and I am now 46. I consider myself pretty fit. However, lately I’ve been finding that high-intensity workouts, although I feel great during and after, I feel a bit more tired (almost as if I’ve overworked myself). I hate this feeling because I love working out. Is it a matter of getting older and I shouldn’t be working out any longer at such a high intensity? I do both cardio and weight training. I wish you would add more tips when it comes to exercise and getting older on your future posts.
    Thank you,
    Rita

    • admin says:

      Hi Rita- it is difficult to say exactly why you feel more tired than usual however here are some things to consider;
      Are you getting enough sleep each night?
      Are you making sure to eat enough healthy carbohydrate foods each week?
      Are you getting enough vitamins, minerals and enzymes in your diet?

      There are many other things that can impact energy levels but these are some of the more common deficiencies I see.

  2. Lisa says:

    Thanks!
    I laughed out loud.

  3. jane says:

    ha ha, that is hilarious. thanks for sharing that. it sure made me giggle

  4. Eileen says:

    Hi! Showing off is never a good idea – well written and entertaining article!

  5. Eileen says:

    Mr. Poopy Pants needs a job to work off excess energy!

  6. Patrycja says:

    Hi Bruce, thanks for that story! Laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes!

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